These are tough times. All of us are made to stay home, not venture out yet stay sane at the same time.
How’s that even possible?
There’s only that much TV you can watch, there’s only that much internet you can surf and there’s only that much you can read.
We have all heard that a sedentary lifestyle is a surefire way to kill ourselves, but there’s really only that much we can do, cooped up at home.
Thankfully, a singer from the 80s and another one from today have the answer to both of us.
Yeah, the answer to all our problems? Let’s get physical.
Best COVID-19 Lockdown Gifts for Women #5: Resistance Bands
Being locked down at home means you get inactive.
And for women, being inactive means you load up on extra pounds on your glutes.
To ensure that your derriere is just as sexy – or even sexier than before the COVID-19 Lockdown – you need to work them, and you need to work them hard.
Introducing the 360 Athletics Figur8 Resistance Tube, the exercise band that targets your maximus, medius and minimus (Don’t know what I am talking about? Don’t worry about that either.) to make that perky butt of yours, perkier.
Need a kick in the butt to get you moving? Take reference from the picture below.
Best COVID-19 Lockdown Gifts for Women #4: A Stepper Machine
Well, this is THE lockdown.
Which means you can’t step out of the house.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t step around in the house.
You need a stepper machine.
You need the Bowflex TreadClimber TC10 Stepper Machine.
It’s a treadmill, it’s a stair climber, it’s an elliptical, and it will work your cardio.
For all you know, you might emerge from this COVID-19 Lockdown slimmer, sexier and hotter than you can ever imagine.
Best COVID-19 Lockdown Gifts for Women #3: Sexy Lingerie
I mean, why do you work so hard?
It’s the LOCKDOWN babe. Why aren’t you chillaxing?
Because you wanna look good, don’t you?
What’s the point of getting the 360 Athletics Figur8 Resistance Tube and working your butt off till you drop, and climbing up and down the Bowflex TreadClimber TC10 Stepper Machine when you can’t flaunt the absolutely fabulous body of yours.
You are gonna be home, your man (men?) is gonna be home so why not use the chance to show those curves and grooves to get him head over heels about you, again?
You need sexy lingerie that will trigger his prick to rise and shine.
And one name comes to mind where sexy lingerie is concerned: La Senza.
Remember to strut around in your La Senza underwear when you get them, and not hide them in the cupboards.
And if you wanna, you can always send me a dirty picture of yourself if you don’t have a ready audience.
But I would really prefer that you have a good time with your man.
Best COVID-19 Lockdown Gifts for Women #2: Lubricant
I must acknowledge that some of you ladies out there don’t have a special man of your life.
That’s absolutely fine.
You don’t need a problem when you don’t have one.
That said, (y)our needs are also real, so there’s no point denying yourself of the fun that you can have.
If you so desire to pleasure yourself, a good lube will help.
The Good Clean Love Almost Naked Lubricant. 95% organic sans the petrochemicals and parabens.
Don’t overwork your below just because you don’t have the right lube to make it work.
You’re probably gonna be naked, and since you’re doing it finger-fucking yourself, it’s clean.
And therefore the Good Clean Love Almost Naked Lubricant.
Best COVID-19 Lockdown Gifts for Women #1: A Vibrator
Sometimes, (y)our fingers can do all the talking, while at others, you might need a little bit of help.
Self-pleasuring for women require strong arm muscles, which sometimes fail us because of the intensity and frequency of the pleasure you need.
Introducing the Tiger Vibe G5 vibrator.
What’s so great about the Tiger Vibe G5 vibrator?
Well, for starters, it is shaped like a penis.
And the ringed handle means that you can manoeuvre it in your pussy easily.
And did I mention that the Tiger Vibe G5 vibrator is made for insertion? You would be able to venture all the way to your G-Spot, allowing you a rocking good time.
I can’t promise you eternal happiness (who can?), but happiness for the moment? Yeah, I can.
Happiness for the moment comes with a name.
Its name – Tiger Vibe G5 vibrator.
Your Recommendations Are Stupid
I am sorry to hear that.
If none of this works for you, perhaps do the Dua Lipa workout at home.
At least you get to stay active.
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